Mishpucha

Mishpucha is a Yiddish word for family. Not the family that you were born into per se, but the family that you choose.

After so long in pandemic lock down, I was thrilled to have my mother come to visit me a couple of weeks ago. While it was only three days, mom is always Home with a capital H, no matter where we are. We missed our annual vacation together and we missed Thanksgiving – a no-no since I moved away from Home in 2001. So spending time with her was such a blessing.

Once mom left, I was reflecting on family. I am so blessed to have an extended family of dear friends that I have collected through the years. From my childhood friends who I see only once in a decade to my college friends who I see and talk to even less. Each of these people have made a deep and abiding impact on my life.

As a single woman with no furless children, I don’t meet people through our children’s school. Doggie daycare doesn’t offer a PTA. If they did, I would have to answer for some of my Seamus’ actions, but I would still try to get a seat on the Board of Directors.

Instead, I meet my mishpucha at work. When you think about it, we spend more time getting ready for work, travelling to and from the office, and actually working than we do at home. Work family – the culture, the chemistry – is a real thing. When COVID forced us to work from home, I felt separated from my tribe. It was a struggle to create the same sense of family from different places, but we made it work. That bond remained. I looked forward to seeing those faces on Zoom calls. To laughing at inside jokes and laughing at myself.

When I lost my job, I lost a big part of who I am. Oh how I miss my people. I wonder all the time how my new family is going to look. How am I going to fit in. How my new team will get my slightly awkward banter if we aren’t in the same room. Will they get me? Then I remember how many people I “know” online. Be it Facebook or other online communities. And I think of some of these people as actual friends. I know I could call on them in real life and they would be there for me.

I had the opportunity last weekend to meet my best friend’s childhood best friend. We hit it off in person like we do online, with a common interest. AND we were at a baseball game. The first time in more than a year that I have been in that kind of an environment and it was my happy place.

I have a deep and abiding love of baseball. My grandfather, the greatest man I have ever known, introduced me to the game when I was eight years old. I miss live music, theater and sports a lot, and I realized that in great part because being at that kind of an event makes you feel a part of something bigger. Everyone cheering or booing, singing along, lighting up the flashlight feature on our phone since lighters aren’t allowed anymore.

One day soon I will start a new role. I will be part of something bigger than myself again. And my mishpucha will grow. Hopefully it will be soon so I don’t resort to growing my family by adopting more fur babies.